Nicknames You'll Get From Being Long

Do you ever being given a nickname? I know you do, right? Most of the time, the nicknames you get will be nasty ones. You don't get nicknames like Angle, Sweet Butterfly, such names, right? Instead, it will be ketot, gendut, kambing and kiam pia.

Not surprisingly being tall has also won me some nicknames. Panjang is the most common one. But I feel that 'something' just not right to be called panjang. You usually refer panjang to something else, right? Yes, you get it. We use panjang for things like long beans. These people just couldn't differentiate between panjang and tinggi, I guess. Same thing when you call someone short. Rendah should be the correct term, instead of pendek, no?

When I came to Japan, panjang changed to 高い (takai). Lucky me coz the Japanese didn't use the word sakai to refer the word tall. Even the Malaysians senpai is calling me takai. Not enough with takai, some says I'm 大きい (ooki). I think it's common for the Japanese to call someone tall like that. Okay, fine. I understand. But then, if you translate that into English or Bahasa Melayu, that will mean big or besar. Not something I would hope to be called in such way though.

Besides takai and ooki, there's another (infamous) nickname I got from my senpai from Bangladesh. I had second thoughts whether I should mention here the name he gave me. But I'll do it anyway. He created the nickname 壁様 (kabesama) for me. In Japanese, kabe means wall and sama is Mr. So, does that mean I'm Mr. Wall? But why? Is that because I block his way everytime he walks pass me? He'll call me like that happily everytime he sees me. Really sial fellow!

Another one would be Tiang or Lamp Post. These two names have been around for quite some time already. Some girls say that they can just play their netball anywhere even though there isn't any netpole at the place. Wei basket, you think I'm going to be holding the net for you guys meh?

The next few names is what I got from the gang where I hangout with in the chatbox of Kenny Sia and Christien New. To start it off, let me explain that there's 2 Calvins who used to chat there. So, to avoid any confusion, I used apostrophe for my nickname. Then came the name Cal*tut or Calvin Apostrophe.

That's no the only nickname I got as a result of having 2 Calvins there. They have even came out with JapJap a.k.a CalJap. They said that sounds nice. I can't see where's the nice part. Some of the others will be Calvin Ori and Carbon Copy a.k.a Ca Che'ng (CC). For those of you who doesn't know what Ca Che'ng means, well it means butt in Hokkien. I won't be proud to be called that though.

But the most bizarre name would be Caltex. If I own an oil company, I'll understand that. But then, even during exams, I also don't have enough oil to add already, how can you call me like this? Some went even further by calling me Kotex. Yes, that towel girls use once a month. -.-

I know most of the names they gave is because of there's 2 Calvin there. But then, there are also names given because of my height. The most popular are Fake Yao Ming and Fake Maksim. I'm not as tall as Yao Ming, okay?

By the way, studying in Japan has also earned me another nickname. Not jitpunkia, but Calkia. I know that sounds like Kaukia (puppy). So I guess that's not too bad for a nickname.

Besides adding the word '-san' behind people's names, the Japanese use '-khun' as well. So came the name Calvin Khun, which was nothing unusual. But I'm just afraid that some grandma will hear it as Lor Khun (doctor) and ask me to give them treatment. Sorry la ah ma sekalian, we engineers only deal with machinery stuff. We don't do business with knife and medicine.

I guess that pretty sums up everything. I'm still not sure which one I should use. Maybe by doing a general election will help. Or perhaps you guys still have any new nicknames to add to the list?

But make sure that your suggestions have some connections with myself. Otherwise, be prepared to get fried!