Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Weird Toilet Story

Take a look at this:

This is a notice being pasted in the toilet of my hostel and it's written by one of the Japanese student. You might be thinking that I'm trying to correct his English.

But NO, I'm NOT going to do that. For now, at least.

The notice was pasted (upper left side of the pic) inside this small toilet and is still there until now. But, I wonder if anyone will be washing their hands and legs inside the toilet with a limited space available. I don't think so, do you? But why the heck did they put that notice in the toilet?

these are the buttons available at the side of the toilet bowl - canggih ler!

Unless they wanted to use the blue spray button to wash their hands and legs. I'm sure you will never do that since that button is for some other nature-call reliever purpose. Still blur? Then, let me explain it to you in a more direct and straight forward language. That omega-like sign is of course the spray that will shoot straight into your asshole when you press it after you've finished with your business!

Just out of my curiosity, have you ever cross around any signs like above that doesn't really make any sense, especially in countries like Japan? But I know Beijing will always tops the chart when we are talking about Engrish!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

How Your Sensei Make You A Prey

"Calvin, solve Question 4(a) from page 23. Write it on the blackboard in front!"
Ever been through such situation before? You don't have to think twice. Just admit it! You did, right? Ever since the primary years, the teachers will frequently ask their students to answer a particular question. If you got the ones where you knew the answer, fine. Good for you. Problems only crops out when you are 'awarded' with a question where you don't have any idea at all. And it's even much bad news for you if you got those garang or I-just-accept-answer-from-the-marking-scheme type of teacher.
Take this for example: "What's the year did Malaysia gain independence?"
Hey, that's too easy. You must be 99.99% un-Malaysian if you get that wrong. Okay, how about this?
"Explain the term Renaissance".
Any idea anyone? That's just from the his-story text books. How about those calculations in Maths with all sorts of weird sign plus the tons of formulas that to be used to solve them? That's nightmare for almost anybody, don't you think so? Then back in the PPKTJ days, the 「~というのは何の意味ですか?」during the Nihongo class is common, especially if you are taught by the bagai-pinang-dibelah-dua (you know who) couple. Unfortunately, one belah of it has returned to Japan.
So, how did these teachers and sensei actually know who should they pick as their mangsa? I've figure out with no less than 5 methods commonly used by them.
Method #1: Random pick (the most common among the lot)
The sensei will just pick anyone they like. Most of the time it will go everywhere around the class but very often, the sensei will ended up forgetting who they have actually called and haven't called. If you are lucky, then you will escape from it. For some of the sensei who got got memory, sorry, there won't be any exit door for you. Commonly used by Ishikawa Sensei.
Method #2: Wait-for-your-turn pick
This method is quite common as Method #1. The sensei will just call the students in order, usually according to the students' seat. This method have good point for both the sensei and the students. For the sensei who suffers from short term memory lost, they will always prefer this method rather than the first one. As for the students, this will enable them to prepare their answer before they are called. The Kotake Sensei method.
Method #3: 'Hey, wake-up!' pick
The main reason of this method is not wanting you to answer the question. Instead the sensei is more interested of asking you to pay attention at his grumblings; opps, I mean his lesson. The sensei will used his 360 degree infra-red radar to spot for anyone who is flowing their saliva on the desk and that unlucky one will wake up, look around for a few seconds (sometimes get his head back onto the desk to continue his sleep) and look at the sensei with a blur face. Tanaka Sensei's favourite method (I kena by her a few times before!).
The following next two method were just 'discovered' by me recently. Kinda weird and bizarre methods I must say.
Method #4: What's-the-date-today pick
The sensei will just pick the students according to the date on that day. Well, each and everyone of us have own numbers when all the names in the class are arranged in alphabetical order, right? So if your number is above 31, then I'm sure you'll wish every of your sensei will be using this method! Then the sensei will usually carry on with the next student after the first one (Method #2 is applied). Kondo Sensei (my 'interesting' sensei a.k.a. my 担任先生) uses this method all the time.
Method #5 What's-the-time-now pick (I just known this method last Friday)
This must be the weirdest method I've heard so far. When the sensei is looking for someone to solve a question, he will look at the clock. It's 3.55pm. So the unlucky number 55 is his victim. But unfortunately, the number of the students usually doesn't exceed 50. So he will turn to number 05. Kesihan that fella. How would he wished that the sensei to have checked the clock a minute later. Arai Sensei (my Physics lecturer at kosen) is among the few who uses this method.
So here are among the methods that I could crack out from my long-time-no-use rusted brain. If you guys still have any other 'interesting' methods used by the sensei; or have any sensei who applies any of the methods I mentioned above, then share them here as well.

Monday, May 28, 2007

My 100th Post!


Yes, it's my 100th post. I must admit that this 100th post arrived much sooner than I ever thought it would. Well, maybe it's because I had been blogging too much. Going back all the way to my very first post, that was February 18 this year. Yea, for some of you, that date may sounds familiar to you, doesn't it? That's because that was the first day of Chinese New Year. So, I guess I can consider it as the birth of my blog on the year of Pig (for goodness sake, of all the 12 animals!). Never mind. Shanghai Bank's toy mascot is not too bad, isn't it? And it comes with a song as well. So, if you are bored, you can tuned into it as well.

One of the initial purpose of me starting this blog is to keep in touch with all my family members and friends in Malaysia while I'm in Japan. But I didn't know that I have been blogging not only on personal notes. Instead my preference has widen to the extend that I do talk cock sometimes. How about post that contained offensive language? No, SO FAR, I don't think so (which indirectly tells you that I might do it in the future). But you might want to know how to satisfy a girl (girls, don't click it if you can't take jokes); or does size really matter. Well, I do post entries which were those cut-and-paste forward emails and messages once in a while. I hope you don't considering me as lanun cetak rompak. I just hoping to share those jokes and articles which I find interesting with you.

And there are also post where I mainly talk about the life in Japan, their (sometimes weird) cultures, the food, the people etc. But having said that, of course I don't forget about the happenings in Malaysia. As a rakyat yang berjiwa patriotik (I'm just being SSS), how could I? The political news that have caught my attention the most must be the 'bocor' issue. I just don't know why, but I've become more interested on what's happening in our Bolehland now compared to last time where I don't even mind to watch the news and I hardly read the newspaper (excluding sports section). Yes, trust me, the 'Malaysian feeling' will be felt when you are abroad.

Of course when talking about Malaysia, the 'Malaysia Boleh' thing come to your mind, right? But I just feel that over the years, it has became an over-used term. I can accept if it's used when you are giving support to the Malaysian player (except the footballers), but what can you say when they built the 270 million Kuala Lumpur Court Complex, meant to be the biggest (which later became the 2nd) court complex in the world? White Elephant? To worsen things up, not even a year after the completion, there are problems on power failure, ceiling panel collapse, short of parking bays problems. Malaysia Boleh? You go ask Mr Samy Vellu!

One more thing. What English do Malaysian speak ler? But no prize for guessing the right answer one wor. But yalor, I'm proud to be able to speak Manglish. If there's any Singaporeans reading this, you no nit to eksyen la. I know you all talk Singlish, but still Manglish is better lar. Pai-seh har. Why? Kenot ar? Tarak syiok ar? Don't get me wrong la. I'm not doing a malu-ation on Singlish. If you kenot tahan also, don't cabut from this page immediately la. I belanja you yam-cha one day, okay?

And another thing, a new language I found out, called Benglish. If you never heard of it before, it's the English used by all those Ah Bengs and Ah Lians on our streets. I have to credit Kenny Sia for creating this software that enable me to translate my blog into Benglish. If you are bored of the usual English, this is the perfect way to brush up on your Benglish vocabulary.

Coming all the way up to this 100th post, it has taken me exactly 100 days since I started blogging. How coincident is that? That means I post an average of an entry per day. Does that indicate I'm blogging too much? I guess so. Hopefully you don’t mind when, where or how often I post my entries. By the way, it's Tuesday today, the day where I was born! Another coincident? You decide.

Okay, I reached my 100th post today. So, where do I go from here? Well, I don't have a clear idea. I don't know when I'll be reaching my 200th post or 500th post or even 1000th post. That's looking well too far ahead. I'll just try to improve it as time goes by. I hope I'll be able to post in more interesting, nicer stories and entries in the future. Of course, more of cock talking as well! Your comments and critique will be the ones to make this blog a better one.

Since this 100th post is a cause for a huge celebration, I would be very appreciative if you wouldn't mind leaving me a comment, even it if is anonymous. I would love to hear from all of you, guys and girls, no matter where are you from (if you are a martian that happened to crashed on Earth, then state which planet are you from). I am curious to see who is reading my blog. And to those of you who do usually comment, please leave one as well. Let’s see if I can bring a 100 smiles to my face today…one per comment! Lofty goal I know, but who says I can’t aim high?

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

Congratulations Calvin, you are 60% not Malaysian.
That means you're as Malaysian as...

Guy Sebastian !
Walao eh! Sure or not? That's what I got when I try a fun online quiz at kennysia.com which tells you how un-Malaysian you are. So, I guess I'm only 40% Malaysian. How would you going to tell if someone is Malaysian? See what England he talks? But, if it sounds like Manglish, don't you think he could be a Singaporean? A Phua Chu Kang clone perhaps?
How about physical appereance then?
"Aiya, see face sure know liao one la. Eyes kecik-kecik, skin white-white, body short-short"
That's what I heard of people describing the Japanese. But how about Malaysian? Kopi campur teh campur susu? Then what will you get? The colour of Klang River?

Then lets test how much he knows about Malaysia. If he failed to missed getting a 3 digit marks everytime for his Malaysian history test, is he a true Malaysian? So, those who get below that is un-Malaysian? Then I can fairly say that even our Pak Lah is from Afghanistan, don't you think so?

So, instead of testing how Malaysian are we, why not turn the table around and find out how un-Malaysian are we? Don't you think it's fun? So feeling like testing how much you DON'T know about our Bolehland? Then try this:

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Captian Jack Sparrow On His Last Journey

I've been in Japan for two months and so far, I haven't been able to catch not a single movie so far. Even during the Tokyo trip last month, I didn't go to catch any movie, although some of them managed to watch Laki-laki Labah-labah 3. Hey that's not a bad name right? Sounds like Lucky lucky Spiderman.

I should recommend that title to the producer of Spiderman 4 (if there's going to be one). Anyway, to those who has watched it, how was it? How many stars would you give out of 1 star? (with 1 being the best worst)

Okay all of you spiderweb fans out there, I know I've been cruel enough to give you such a limited donkey choice. Then, I'll try to be nice. Rating is from 1 to 5. See, I've gave you 500% discount. Girls, you don't get that even at Malaysia's Mega Sale you know!

Well, if not Tokyo, why not try Nagaoka's cinema, right? Okay, you can say that it's because my place here is kinda kampung, being surrounded by mountains and forest (ah pek and ah mah as well). So no cinema for me. I know you are eng kai-ing (padan muka-ing) this baka for chosing a kosen in the middle of a jungle.

But that's the fact. I didn't deny that. By the way, it's NOT middle. It should be NEAR the jungle. Having said that, I heard there'll be a cinema coming up pretty soon, in a few months time I think.

The world premiere of At World's End (the third in the Pirates of the Caribbean films) was held on May 19, 2007 at Disneyland. The opening of the screenings was just a couple of days ago. I didn't watch the first film, The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), though I did catch the second one, Dead Man's Chest last year. I got to say Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) was damn funny with his smart-but-stupid-sometimes acts. For the third film, Chow Yun-Fatt will be appearing as Captain Sao Feng, Pirate Lord of the South China Sea. For the detail of the film, click here.

Still, I guess I won't be watching this third film. Sigh...

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Me And My (Poor) Handphone

30 times and above per day. That's my average.

Wondering what am I talking about? Well, that's how frequent I used to sms. But that's a long long time story. That's when I was still in Malaysia. My hp used to be my best friend. I take it along when and where ever I go, play with it, having fun with it, spending my free time with it, wasting my time with it, eat with it, sleep with it, almost everything I do, I do it along with my hp. There are some exceptions of course, eg: toilet. I just couldn't imagine how will I survived without my hp even for 24 hours.
It's funny when I recalled my pattern of sms last time. It's like the person that I often sms-ed with most of the time (which I mean almost everyday) changed every few months. Yes, most of them are of the opposite sex. I admit that. Do I need to list them down? No, I don't think so la. But, if you are saying I'm flirting, then I guess you've got the wrong point. It wasn't like I'm acting as if I'm changing partners every other month. It just happened. I just couldn't help it.
Did I have so many things to talk until I sms-ed that much? Well, most of the time had been crapping. Crapping that sometimes don't make any sense at all. But that's the reason they create the word 'crap', right? Besides crapping, what else did I do? Ahh, 'that' thing. Should I talk about it? Someone has been 'paksa-ing' me to write about it, but ... Hmmm, maybe next time la. But it wasn't a fairy tale ending. Ok, I'll stop talking about it before I got any further.
That was few months back...
Last time it used to be more than 30 sms per day.
And now?
I hardly managed to get even a double figure in a month! Maybe it has turned the opposite. 1 sms per 30 days. I try to find a reason why I've been dumping my poor handphone in my drawer all the time. I just don't have the mood I used to have to sms. And there's not many people for me to sms with. How about watching TV with my phone? Sorry, I prefer watching it though a real and bigger television box. Sometimes I feel sorry to it, not been using it as frequent as I should although it's a brand new phone. Kesihan that fella.
By the way, there's a bear in my phone, which is like the 'tamaguchi' thing la. It's like my virtual pet la. Kuman (his name) kept on popping out frequently and asking me why am I ignoring him. Somemore ask me to go to his playground-like-bedroom to play with him! Siao!
お部屋に来て一緒に遊んでほしい?(you must be kidding, Kuman!)

Friday, May 25, 2007

Lets Do Some Translations

"Nathan is from the United States. He taught for a year in China."
Okay, now put the sentence above into Japanese. That's what we've been doing in our class. No, it's not Japanese language lesson. Instead that's how the English lesson is conducted. I can say 98% of the entire lesson is conducted in Japanese.
The terms like 現在形, 過去形, 現在進行形, 過去進行形, 現在完了形, 過去完了形, 未来完了形 are among the ones I have 'discovered' so far. To put them in English, they are Present Tense, Past Tense, Present Continuous Tense, Past Continuous Tense, Present Perfect Tense, Past Perfect Tense and Future Perfect Tense. So instead of learning English, I ended up learning those terms and new words in Japanese. In other words, I'm learning Japanese in the English class!
My sensei keep telling us (Malaysian) that the lesson is too kacang putih for us. Yes, I agree. If we were to get 90 marks and below in the test, then I'm sure there's something wrong somewhere. I'm not saying we shouldn't make any mistakes in the paper; or we shouldn't get it wrong at the questions the Japanese got it right. The people from Bolehland is also human after all, right? But I guess we should get them right, which mean better than the Japanese to a certain extent. As someone said before, it's not to show that we are too good in English (at least light years better than the Japanese). Instead, it's to avoid Malaysian from losing face. Get what I mean here?
When we are doing the comprehension part, we are supposed to translate the whole passage into Japanese! Just imagine that! What's the rational of having a English period twice a week? They might as well rename the lesson into 'Mari Belajar Menterjemah Bahasa Inggeris'.
By the way, from the above sentence, not less than 3 students in my class couldn't understand and failed to translate the second sentence correctly. The first sentence was okay.
ネタンさんはアメリカから来ました。
How about the second one? To put it into simple Japanese would be something like:
彼は中国で1年間教えていました。
But for them, that was the one they find it 'difficult'. I wonder where's the 'difficult' part. That's the one where they came up with REALLY creative translations. Among them are:
彼は4年間教えていました。(He taught for four years)
I can understand this coz he might made a mistake between 'for' and 'four'.
But take a look at the next one:
彼は去年中国で教えていました。(He taught in China last year)
This is the one I don't know how on earth he could change it into an entire new sentence with different meaning that even a goat will never understand it. Of course the whole class laughed at him that time and I'm one of them. Hey, I'm not looking down on him, okay? I just couldn't stand his 'joke' ma.
To sum it up, I've come up with a new formula where I'm sure Sir Issac Newton would have been proud of.
Japanese English=Gone Case!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

ハリーポッター

The last period today was 特別活動 (special activity). This period can be considered as a free period. Last few weeks they have been discussing about our lawatan sambil belajar trip for next year. It's haven't been really decided, but we could be going to Kansai area. That means we would probably be going to Kyoto and Nara.
Then last week, a lecturer from Nagaoka University of Technology came and give a talk about that university. I didn't hear what he was talking that time coz the atmosphere in the class was just too perfect for me not to get into my sweet dreams as he was using the projector for his presentation and the class was dim.
So, today when I got to the class for this 'special activity' period, I heard my sensei saying we were going to watch Harry Potter. I was like what?! Harry Potter?! Okay, I admit I'm not a fan of Harry Potter. Of the 6 (or 7?) books that have came out, I guess I've not even read a full page of any of them. And the fact that I'm not a cacing buku didn't do me any favour either.
The movie we watched today was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. But I'm not sure it's from which number of the Harry Potter series though. Can any Harry Potter fans out there help me on this? Okay, so the show started. But the Japanese a.k.a my classmates put the audio in Japanese. If you think that's not enough, they didn't put English subtitle on it! I'm not saying I didn't understand at all, but then, it's still hard to get what the 'Japanese Harry Potter' is talking, right? I didn't ask them to put the subtitle though coz I was damn sleepy that time and was just waiting to fall into my dreamland.
For the first few minutes, I was still awake coz I wanted to see how funny would it be for Harry to talk in Japanese. It was something like this:

ハーアイオニー:ハリー起きなさい!朝ご飯できてるわ。早く!
ハリー:ああ、そんなに早い。。。つまらないな。。。
Translation:
Hermione: Harry, wake up! Breakfast is ready. Quick!
Harry: Huh, so early? It's boring...

I just couldn't control myself from laughing when I heard those first few line of conversation. But not to make my Japanese friends around me from thinking I'm weird by laughing for no reason, I just grinned. Still, it's really funny la. You will know it if you watch it, I can assure you! Anyway, the way they changed the audio into Japanese is not bad, although it's normal that the lips movement is still not the same. Far better than those Korean drama back in Malaysia.
After watching a good few minutes of it, I slept all the way until it was time to go back. I guess I slept for about 40 minutes :)
Still, I prefer watching any movie or drama in their original languague. I couldn't imagine how would it be if Harry Potter is translated into Bahasa Melayu. Maybe it will be something like this:

Harry: Ron, carikan penyapu terbang untuk saya.
Ron: Penyapu terbang apa? Mana kau letak?
Harry: Awak ni memang 'baka' (idiot) tau! Kalau saya tau mana saya letak, saya takkan tanya awak lagi la! 'Baka' betul budak ni!

And how about taking one of those classic P. Ramlee film and translate it into Japanese maybe? Take 'Madu Tiga' for example:

ジャミル:ねえ、ねえ、ちょっと言いたいことあるんだ。
ロハに:ええ、何?
ジャミル:実はね、僕は[ポリガミ]をしちゃったんよ。
ロハに:[ポリガミ]って、何?
ジャミル:あんたは知らないの?良かった!
ロハに:なんで良かったと言ったの?ちゃんと教えてくれよ!
ジャミル:ええと、それは[折り紙]の似ている言葉だ。意味はだいたい同じだ。
Translation:
Jamil (P. Ramlee): Ni, abang nak cakap satu benda ni.
Rohani (Sarimah-wife #3): Apa benda?
Jamil (P. Ramlee): Sebenarnya kan, abang dah buat 「poligami」.
Rohani (Sarimah-wife #3): 「Poligami」? Apa benda tu?
Jamil (P. Ramlee): Sayang tak tau ke? Hmm, bagus la tu.
Rohani (Sarimah-wife #3): Apa bagus pulak? Bagi tau la!
Jamil (P. Ramlee): Err, 「poligami」tu lebih kurang sama dengan 「origami」. Maksudnya lebih kurang sama je.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed it :)

The Beauty Of Manglish

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below. Ours is simple, short, concise, straight to the point, effective, etc...
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?!
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what?! See what?!
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!! (a direct translation from mati la, si liau la, etc.)
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that one?
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Dreams

Lately, I've been dreaming. Yea, for the past two nights, I've been dreaming. But we all know that whenever we dreamt about something, the moment we woke up, and pops it goes, everything will be gone. You'll forget what, who, when, where and how you dreamt just seconds ago. How good it is if those genius scienties who spend most of their lives experimenting with white mice could come out with an machine which can record our dreams.
Then I guess the happiest person in the world would be my late grand grandma. Know why? Well, my mum used to tell me that when she was small, she sleeps with her grandma. In the middle of having a nice sleep, she always will be waken up by her grandma coz she wanted to ask my mum to write down the nombor ekor she dreamt. And my mum will obediently write down those toto numbers so that the next morning, her grandma could go to the toto shop and 'buy' the numbers.
I guess there are many types of dreams. It can be happy ones, sad, funny, scary (cerita hantu), memorable and also about something where you hope you'll never be reminded again. As I said just now, it's common that we tend to forget immediately what we had dreamt. But I just couldn't know the reason why I still remember the ones I went through for the last two nights.
I'll start with the one last night. Quite funny and doesn't make sense at all I guess. Well, it goes like this. I went to a restaurant for a meal and I saw Shimizu Sensei, sitting at a table, alone there. Well, for you who doesn't know who's her, she's my former Japanese lecturer in PPKTJ. Although I saw her there, I just don't know why I didn't greet her. Instead I straight went to order my food. By the way, the restaurant is a self service restaurant (but I'm sure it's neither KFC nor McDonald's).
After getting my food, I went to look for a place but after going around and ended up not getting a seat, I return to Shimizu Sensei's table to greet her. Since she said it's okay for me to join her for the meal, so I sat there. But the conversation wasn't as friendly as I used to be with her. That's another thing that kept me pondering.
Later a guy walked towards our table. I though that was one of those Bangla waiter the restaurant hired. "Here he comes", Shimisu Sensei told me. That time I was in total blur. Isn't Shimizu Sensei still single? Could that be her partner? That's impossible, I thought. Guess who's that? An dark-skin guy! And Shimizu Sensei proudly told me that's her husband! I was like what?! She's married already? Shimizu Sensei married an Indian guy?
I know nowadays it not uncommon for inter-racial marriage, but for that to happen to Shimizu Sensei never crossed my mind. That time, I wanted to ask her about it. But then, as usual, when you are reaching the climax of your dreams, pops!!! You will wake up. That's what happened.
Okay, to the next dream which I went through two nights ago. This one was an unexpected one and it's quite a short dream; to my relieve. The place was unclear. But I guess that time, I was walking and I met with her. That time, I was unsure whether to start a conversation with her. It has been some time since I keep on thinking about her and I thought I have forgotten about everything that had happened before this. But someone next to me ask me to go and have a chat with her. Just when I was to approach her, again, popped it went! I just don't have any idea what woke me up. Really kek si me nia that time!
By the way, for those of you who still doesn't know who that girl is, well, it's someone I liked before this. I don't think I should be mentioning her name her :P

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I'm Missing Something Now

I'm missing something at the moment...
something I've lost contact for months...
Yes, roti canai!
And all the others food that can be found in Malaysia. But why out of a sudden, I'm homesick of Malaysian food? Maybe it's because after I read the news that the price of roti canai won't cost more although the price of wheat flour have gone up by 15 cent recently. Not just roti canai. Char koey teow, nasi lemak, mee rebus, satay, cendol, teh tarik... and the list won't end if I were to list them here. Now I know why foreigners talk about our country being the paradise when it comes to food; and also the reason of the high rate of diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and all sorts of the 'high' diseases.
The last time I got a taste of roti canai was several weeks ago. That was during the gathering among the Malaysians at Nagaoka University of Technology. But that piece of roti canai was no where any near and as good as the soft and crispy and tender roti canai that I used to eat back in Malaysia. That 'fake' imported roti canai was hard and didn't taste good. If you still can't imagine how it tasted, go to a nearby supermarket and get a frozen roti canai and you'll know how it taste. Keras!
When will I be able to taste a real mamak roti canai??
Maybe someone could send me a piece of hot roti canai to me from Malaysia :)
Related article:

Monday, May 21, 2007

長岡からのメール:メールありがとう

カルヴィンさん:

メールありがとう。とてもうれしかった。

私は今広島大学大学院の研究生です。
研究をしながら アルバイトとして広島大学の留学生の家族の人に日本語を教えています。
私は将来大学の先生になりたいと思っています。
だから、日本語を教える経験と同時に、研究もして、これから日本語を学習する人や、日本語を教えている先生たちに役に立つ発見をしたいと思っています。

カルヴィンさんも、高専でよく勉強して、将来マレーシアや世界の人々に役に立つ仕事をしたり、研究をしたりできる 人になってください。
カルヴィンさんならきっとそのような人になるだろうと思って、期待しています。

高専の授業で一番面白いものは何ですか。
好きな先生がいますか。
授業が面白いとか、先生に憧れるということはとても大切なことだと思います。

私は今言語学や日本語学の専門の先生の講義を聞いていますが、とても楽しいです。
好きな勉強ができるということはとても幸せですね。
マレーシアにいた1年間は、私にとってとても貴重な経験でした。
もちろん1年だけで十分だと思っているのではありません。
できれば、またマレーシアに戻りたいと思います。
特に、PPKTJで日本語を教えていたとき、日本で日本語を教えているのとは違う難しさを感じました。
この言葉とこの言葉はどう違うんですかとか、この文型とこの文型はどう違うんですかという質問をカルヴィンさんはよくしますね。
でも、実は日本語学の研究者でも、答えられないことがたくさんあります。
日本語の文法は、まだ研究が十分ではないところがあるので、日本語を勉強する
人たちの質問に十分に答えられないのです。
それに、毎日日本語を教えている先生たちはとても忙しいので、研究する暇がないのです。
だから、私は今PPKTJの仕事を少し休んで、大学で研究しています。

カルヴィンさんが間違っていたら、教えてくださいと言っていたので、いくつか間違いを示します。

>例えば、新宿や秋葉原に実際に行きました。
>あそこで、数え切れないほど人々がいっぱいいました。

この場合、「あそこ」ではなくて、「そこ」を使います。

それは、 自分が前の文で書いた場所を指す場合、「そこ」を使うというルールがあるからです。
でも、どうして「あそこ」を使ってしまったのか、興味があります。
新宿はカルヴィンさんの今いるところから遠いからでしょうか。
遠いところは「あそこ」を使うというルールがカルヴィンさんの頭の中にあるとしたら、面白いですね。

>最初の何か日の授業を受けた時、先生の話が聞き取れにくく、よく理解できませんでした。

「聞き取れにくく」ではなくて、「聞き取りにくく」です。
「~にくい」が「難しい、困難だ」という意味になるときは、「聞き取る」という意志動詞を使わなければなりません。
「聞き取れる」という可能動詞は意志動詞ではありません。

このように、日本語を勉強している人が間違えるところは、日本語の先生が上手に教えていないところや、日本語のシステム自体が難しいところです。
だから、私は面白いと思いますし、研究したいと思っています。

時間があったら、ぜひまたメールをください。
また、「日本語の文法」の話もしましょう。

では、元気でがんばってください。

小竹 直子
naokok75@yahoo.co.jp

I got this reply from my former sensei, Kotake Sensei, also from PPKTJ. But, she had stopped teaching at PPKTJ. At the moment, she's doing her graduate studies on Japanese language at Hiroshima University.
As usual, she's still the same Kotake Sensei we all know. For much part of the mail, she's been talking about her research on Japanese language and in the end of the mail, she still managed to correct my grammar in the mail I sent to her previously. Maybe that's her nature of having a REAL interest and enthusiasm on her mother tongue.
P/S: I know for the last couple of posts, it has been entry in Japanese and there'll be the ones who don't understand them. I'll try changing them into the normal entries (in English) in the next entry. I hope I will :)

Sunday, May 20, 2007

マレーシアからのメール

カルビンさんへ

メールをありがとう。
元気そうですね!安心しました。
日本語とても上手になりましたね。(カルビンさんは前からとても上手だったけど、今は更に上手になっています)

日本の生活にも慣れてきたようですね。
ホームシックにはなりませんか?
私がマレーシアに住み始めた時は、“家族に会いたい・・・日本に帰りたい・・”と思ったことがたくさんありましたよ。
カルビンさんは大丈夫?

長岡には19人もマレーシア人がいると聞いてびっくりしました。
同じ国の学生がいると、心強いと思います。
毎日日本語だけを使う生活は疲れると思います。
そんな時、同じ国の学生と、マレーシアの言葉で話せたら、きっと気分も楽になるでしょう。

私は今年は1年生を教えます。
先週入学してきました。全部で70人です。
(まだこれから少し人数が増えるかもしれませんが。)
今年は女の子が15人位です。
1年生はかわいいですよー。
きっと一生懸命に勉強して、カルビンさんのいい後輩になるでしょう。

そう、植松先生はPPKTJを退職されました。
そして小竹先生も退職して日本に帰りました。今、広島で日本語の先生をしているそうです。
PPKTJには新しい日本語の先生が2人、教科の先生が1人来てくれました。
でも、毎年先生方が変わって、日本に帰ってしまうのはとても寂しいですね。

マレーシアは一年中暑いので、季節がわかりませんが、日本は今とても過ごしやすい季節でしょう。
暑くもないし、寒くもなくて5月は一年で一番いい季節だと思います。
6月中旬になってしまうと、梅雨(つゆ)で雨が多くなるので、ちょっと嫌ですね。
私はできれば8月頃に日本に帰ろうかと思っています。
ブレークなので、2週間位だけですが。
ヤンクアンさんは元気?
同じ長岡高専でしたよね?
彼は寂しがりや(すぐ寂しい気持ちになってしまう人のこと)なので、ホームシックにかかっていませんか?
カルビンさんととても仲がいいので、彼を助けてあげて下さいね。
カルビンさんはヤンクアンさんのお兄さんのように見えます。
私の意見だけですが・・・

龍星(りゅうせい)は最近日本語がとても上手になって、
“空港で、背の高いお兄ちゃんにだっこ (carry) してもらった。お兄ちゃん飛行機に乗って日本に行ったの。お兄ちゃん、なんで日本に行ったの?”と私に聞くので、
“お兄ちゃん、日本に勉強しに行ったんだよ、またマレーシアに帰ってくるよ。”と話しておきました。

いつかまたカルビンさんに会えるのを本当に楽しみにしています。
体に気を付けてね。
いつもマレーシアから応援しています。
では、また書きますね。

P/S 他の先生達に宜しく伝えておきます。きっと皆喜ぶでしょう!

根津 美美子

Above is an reply I received from one of my sensei in PPKTJ, Nezu Sensei. There will be no translation this time again. Anyway, I just point out some of the interesting part from the email I got.

龍星 (Ryuusei); that cute little baby boy. I felt so delighted that he still remembers me. Yea, when we were at KLIA before we left for Japan, he was there with his mum (Nezu Sensei). I just can't resist not to carry this little boy. I guess anyone will be the same if you guys sees such a cute boy. Who won't?

"彼 (Yan Kuang) は寂しがりや"
Haha, I just can't stop myself from laughing when I read this. Is he really that type? I guess Nezu Sensei had gave the opposite word to describe him, no?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Calvin=Johnny Depp?


Comments, anyone?

For those you like to try out on your own pics, click here and see which celebrity do you look-alike!

A Half-Baked Apology

"We are apologising to all women. OK. Thank you, I have to catch a flight"
That was a statement by one of the monkeys from Kinabatangan. Is that considered an apology? Opposition leader Lim Kit Siang called that 'a half-baked apology'. To me, I would be calling it 'not even a quarter-baked apology'. As a quote from Batu Gajah MP Fong Po Kuan, that have came 'too little too late' as both the monkeys at the Parliment took more than a week to apologised.
And why should they apologised on Wednesday, only to retracted it later? It just shows how insincere they are, as if being 'forced into' offering their apology on their sexists remarks. And worse still, they didn't mention anything about apologising to Fong personally. Instead they just directed their apology to all the women in general.
Now I know why 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'...
To those two monkeys, I know both of you have 'bird brain'. Everyone knows that. But I'm afraid Malaysians will never be fooled into such statement of 'apology'. Does that mean that you can say or do just about anything not only in the Parliament, but in our daily life in general and only to offer your apology later on? Then I will commit a murder on someone I hate tonight and offer my apology the next morning. Settled!
I'm not going to comment much longer on this already coz I've already sick of seeing how childish and the low mentality of these 'circus performers'. If they are elected to the Parliament only to bring up such sensitive issues, and shouted like those uneducated people like the samseng and Ah Longs, then they might as well apply for those jobs. I'm sure they'll be welcome anytime. Especially if they were to perform with the elephants and lions at the circus.
For full report, go to:

Related:

Friday, May 18, 2007

Fire At My Hostel!

FIRE!!!

API!!!

火事!!

Well, it there was a fire at our hostel. But not the real kebakaran. It's fire drill to be exact. After waking us up early in the morning couple of days ago for that 草取り thing, this morning we were make to wake up EARLY again. This time it was the fire drill. When I say early, it's really early. 6am! Here it's certainly different from Malaysia because as by that time, the sun has already began to rise. I was still on the bed when I heard those 'Ohayou gozaimasu' shout by the 1st grader outside and I knew they have began to assemble. But the emergency bell was yet to rang. So what's the hurry? I continued lying on my bed.
Then, it finally came. The bell! Well, I did say this is just a fire drill, right? So everyone walked down slowly as if they're going for breakfast. No sense of urgency from anyone, anywhere. But it's not really necessary. I still took my sweet time going to the toilet, washing my face and walked down to where they're assembling.
Again, it was us who were among the last group outside. After being 'treated' with some talks (luckily it was kinda short talk, not like the LONG speech we usually get from the Pengetua, PKs, the head of the firefighters, etc when doing the latihan kebakaran in Malaysia), all of us went back, except the 1st and 2nd grader. Kesihan them coz they still need to stay there to be shown the way to use the fire extinguisher. I watched them too; from the window of my room! Instead of the usual CO2 (did I get my facts correct?), they replaced it with WATER!
"okay boys (and some girls), this is how you use a fire extinguisher; carry (angkat), push (tolak) and picit!"
putting off the seemingly 'invisible fire' with water
"皆さん、よく分かったね"

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Great News For Teachers

Teacher's Day was celebrated nationwide (I mean in Malaysia) yesterday where most of the students will show their gratitude to their teachers on that special day. Today, a great (should I use 'great'?) news came out today. A foundation will be set up to take care of their welfare and their children's education.

Pak Lah who launched the foundation yesterday immediately pledged a 100 million grant to the foundation. A further 200 million would come from various sources including the assets and funds of the Teachers Provident Fund (KWSG) and the Yayasan Guru Malaysia Berhad.

For full report, go to:

Finally An Apology From The Two Monkeys


Can monkeys talk human language? Finally after lots of protest made from various individuals as well as organisations, those two monkeys from the Parliament finally offered their apology for their 'unintended remarks' made during the exchange in the Parliament several days ago regarding the 'bocor' issue.
I just wonder in the first place, why didn't they think twice (or in their case, thrice might even not enough) before they say anything, especially which touches on gender issues. But I think I don't have to think too hard because everyone know that there are some MPs in the Parliament are just 'jokers' who could make better money with the elephants and clowns in the circus. No wonder they referred our Parliament as the circus of Malaysia.
Anyway, I just feel 'sad' for their (most of the MPs) third world mentality and how on earth can such individuals have been elected to represent the rakyat from their area. I guess those people from Kinabatangan and Jasin should think more than thrice in the next general election.

What's Your Sex Speed Limit?

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss, but only down under.

Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: Why can't you trust a woman?
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch!

A Miracle
An Indian, a Chinese and a Malay were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same E.R., but all of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Indian, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present, asked him what happened.

"Well," said the Indian, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Chinese and the Malay and I were standing at the gates of heaven. An Angel approached us and said that we were too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50 and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors. "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them" replied the Indian, "the Chinese was bargaining over the price, and the Malay was waiting for the government to pay for his."

Obsessed

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mom, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving!"
What Kathy is obsesses of does makes sense, but I would prefer to choose the option of avoiding her!

Annoying People
  1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
  2. When people say "It's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
  3. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
  4. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
  5. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
  6. When people say "Life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
  7. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
  8. When you're eating something ands someone asks "Is that nice?" No, it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

遠足

遠足: excursion; school trip; outing; hiking, picnic, field day.
That was what being shown when I look for that word '遠足' from my electronic dictionary. So, which word should I choose as its translation? Well, I guess all those words can just be accepted. So today, we have our 遠足 thing, but we still got to wake up as usual time. At first, we thought maybe we could wake up a bit later, but it didn't turned out that way.
After breakfast and took our お弁当, we went to assemble at the field. They made us sit under the hot morning sun while doing the usual stuff like taking the attendance and some short instructions. Lucky me coz I didn't get any sunburn after being roasted under the sun for about half an hour.
the field were all of us assemble before we are off to the camp site
it was just like a line of bees flying; it stretched almost 1 kilometer!
The walk to the camp site was around 30 minutes, but after some 'smart thinking' by some from my classmates, we ended up taking more time that we supposed to. Instead of just go straight, they thought they could take a short-cut by turning right. In the end, knowing that they were going nowhere, they turn back to the left. Some who still intend to go on with their 'short-cut' route ended up having to cross a small stream. I don't think they made up much time for taking that route.
After reaching the camp site, we were like don't know what to do. 近藤先生 (Kondo Sensei) sat at a corner and stood up and walked around occasionally. The rest? They just sit there, stare at each other. Well, actually it didn't get to that extend. It's just me being over exaggerating. Well, they sat down and do the biasa thing-chatting; what else.
"I wonder where have all my students gone..."
this was during the time we just arrived
everybody just sat there...
I sat down and have a chat together with them as well while eating our お弁当. The content inside it? A doughnut, bread with a slice of cake in between, a packet of fruit juice and of course, BANANA! It seems that banana is a famous thing to bring during 遠足 to the Japanese.
my お弁当 (obento); notice the thing on the far left: a toilet tissue roll (not brought by me, but someone just tumpang my place)
In the end, after eating those bananas, we collected the skin and make the famous trap using banana's skin. First, we put it altogether in a place. Then later, we lined them up in a straight line. But as expected, it didn't work out as the soil there wasn't slippery. Not a single human became our mangsa today. Mission failed!
preparing the skin for our perangkap
one of our failed mission
Nakajima was the main man today and responsible for the cooking part. The menu for today was 焼きそば (yakisoba) or fried noodles. Just like the mee goreng back in Malaysia. After eating for a few rounds (3 times I think) we continued chatting away. While they were frying the noodles, I went there to have a look. Yes, 見るだけ.
I can tell you 9 out of 10 people there are either watching or waiting for the food to be ready
my class's stove; right at the middle
frying the noodles all the way
and the 焼きそば is finally done and ready to be eaten
The stove of the students from 物質工学科3年 (Chemical Engineering 3rd Year) was just next to us. Joann was there with her friends and she was holding two plates of sotong. So I ask their permission if I can have a taste. It tasted so nice that one piece turned to two, three, four and it continued until Joann drop one of the plate! So clumsy that fella. What else, I kena blame la, although the real fact is that I'm innocent! :P
this pic made us look like those pelarian without food for days!
Later Tanaka asked me to join him in the treasure hunt game called 'Walk Rally'. I guess its more correct to call it 'human hunt' coz we were supposed to look for guys with a yellow armband around the camping site. The task of looking for them took us all the way up to the mountain, which in the end, we found no one there. That time we just found two out of the required seven 'human'.
here we go (I've got my first 'human' already)
So we returned to Oohara (he was from the Students Council and one of the two 'human' we have found) with the intention of asking him where are the rest of the 'humans' . It seemed that two more were just around that area and the other three is at the tennis court.
After completing the task at the tennis court, we were approached by a guy. At first I thought it was one of Tanaka's friend. But he told me later that he didn't know him as well. Well, that guy came to us, lend us his pencil (to fill in the clue) and asked where we got the final 'human'. I felt weird coz the final human we got was just standing in front of him, next to us.
Not really understands what he meant that time, I just smiled to him. Again, while on the way back to the main check point, Tanaka explained to me and we just couldn't control ourselves that we laughed so loudly. I guess I've made the action by SMILING to that guy. I must say that guy was ちょう面白い!
See! Sometimes it's good to have 下手な日本語 (poor Japanese Language)!
やっぱり聞き取れなかったおかげだ。
mission completed!
What did both of us get? Well, the prize was some coupons that can be used at our kosen's kiosk. They called it 売店券 (baitenken). Be the first 20 people to complete the task will win you 500 yen (RM 16) coupon. We were around the 18th (not sure of the exact position though) to completed our tasks and both of us won 500 yen's 売店券 each. So in the end, our effort paid off even though having gone for the 山登り for nothing earlier!
the 500 yen 売店券 that I won!
from left: Tanaka (my tutor), Nakajima (chef of the day) and me with our winning coupons
There is also some telematch played there. There one game where they called it as 'Kick-Base'. It's a combination of two sports. Not the hardest question in the world to guess those two sports I think. Well, it can be called a rojak game also since they combined football and baseball.
Later before returning to the kosen, we went to the tennis court and some of them have some fun with tennis. I tried to play it. It's my first time in my life and I think I can just put it in one word: DISASTER! So, I don't want to talk much more about it already :P
'Kick-Base'
After clearing the site, we walked back and on the way, something unexpected happened. An accident. No, it didn't involved any of our students, but a car, about the size of a Kancil, went down into a parit in the paddy field area.
everyone were curious what was happening in front...
this 'expert' driver (second from right) still managed to smile at the camera!
Lucky that women coz we were there and the whole group of us decided to pushed it up from that parit. In the end, we did it. Just that I 'managed' to wet my shoes as I lost my balance and stuck one of my legs into the parit. Anyway, it wasn't a big deal.
checking at any damages to her car
the car is finally back to it's initial position
At least today, I've done a GOOD DEED!