Saturday, December 1, 2007

It Will Be Fine, Very Soon

I am getting much better. For those who offer words of encouragement to me, I here thank all of you. I am not going to make this entry another emotional one. Yesterday's entry was easily my shortest and simplest entry in my blog so far.
And thank you for being my side at those times. I really appreciate it =)
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Exam just ended yesterday. Instead of having the freedom feeling, like how the Japanese wrote on the whiteboard immediately after the last paper finished, I didn't feel any of those feeling this time around. This time, there is not much indifferent feeling within myself.
It is more like "Okay, exam had ended. Just another day had past. Nothing is there to celebrate or to be happy of".
That is weird, isn't it?

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Whenever the exam is around the corner, the depression hormone just tend to struck. No, it is not about exam stress or anything that it related to exam. It is more to relationship. No, don't get me wrong. It has nothing to do with boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, but it is more to relationship in general. Misunderstanding, frustration, all those stuff.
And this time, it was the same. The only thing that differentiate it from previous times is that it chose to happen a bit later; when the exams was in its final day.

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Apparently, something will surely crops out from nowhere and it happens at those times, out of so many other time. It is not my first time being stuck in the middle of this kind of situation. I have had that so many times already that it has become something common when the exam season arrived. It did not happen during my primary and secondary school days, of course. I started going through that when I was in KL, doing my foundation before coming here.
Those who know me well enough will know what I am referring to.
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But there is one thing that kept me wondering till now. During all those times, I tend to get stronger and will be something that will make me get over it. It is something unexplainable. It is hard to describe it with words. However, it exists.
There were people who told me I look happy one day, and sad the next day. But that is just part and parcel of life. I am sure even the richest person in the world has their bad days at times as well. When I called home, my mum sensed that I wasn't my normal self after just a couple of exchanges. I guess that is just typical motherly instinct. I will not take the easy path of avoiding what I am currently going through. I will try to go through over it. I believe, it will be fine, very soon.
Thanks for reading.

4 comments:

jo said...

whoa!!you having depression ka??dint look like it yesterday...u're sure an expert in hiding feelings .haha..
i do feel like that sometimes...one day happy and the next day depression..normal normal..lol
hope the strikes and singing all had a great effect on you!!
jia you!!

michelleg said...

=) that aside, ur photos are really beautiful. love them =)

calvin said...

@ jo:
me, experts in hiding feelings?
no, i don't think so. the japanese are far more expert than me =P

i guess that outing had made me loosen up more or less. thanks =)

calvin said...

@ michelleg:
you love the photos more than the person who took the photo, don't you? or is it the opposite? =P