Thursday, July 19, 2007

Let Me Pass For Once

I just got an ass yesterday morning. It was rather an examination. My first term final examination. It was an English paper. Remember how I screwed up this paper in the mid-exam last two months? To be honest, it wasn't just me who screwed it as the whole class was just the same.
Not wanting that to happen again, I guess my Mr Mort finally decided to change the format of the exam. This is what we were supposed to do.
Chapter 1
Use the following words to make 4 questions and then answer the questions that you made. FROM, SPELL, FIRST, NUMBER.
Chapter 2
Use the following words to make 4 questions and then answer the questions that you made. KIND OF, FAVOURITE, THINK OF, LIKE.
Chapter 3
Use IN, ON, UNDER, NEXT TO to answer 4 questions about the location of 4 different things in your room.
Chapter 4
On page 24 of your textbook, answer b, c and d of Part 2: Excuse me. On the Opposites print, find the antonyms of each adjective.
The problem lies on the forth question (Chapter 4). We were given a map like this.
We are suppose to complete this sentence.
"Excuse me. How do I got to the hotel?"
Even after thinking for so long on which route should I take to go to the hotel, I am still blur. This is why I don't like the English lesson. You may think it's damn easy. But that's the problem.
When something gets too easy, they will penalise you on even a minor mistake. Even worse, they will ask you to memorise stewpid stuff from the text book such as where the characters came from. Since they ask for stewpid stuff, why not I give stewpid answers too, right? So, this is what I will hand up to Mr Mort.
Chapter 1
Q: He where from?
A: Dunno la.
Q: He name how spell?
A: Dunno wat D-O-N-K-E- something la.

Q: Your first time ar?
A: Nola, few times liao.

Q: Number wat time liao?
A: Forget liao la. Cong chi, many la!
Sounds like a rape victim under some interrogation, no? In case you don't know what interrogation is, I'll put it simple. It's soal siasat. Anyway, let me proceed to the second one.
Chapter 2

Q: You like what kind of girl?
A: Eh, why you ask? Dowan tell can onot?
Q: Then, your favourite girl in your class you dun like?
A: Got one girl nia wor.
Q: How you think of her ler?
A: Aiyak, like chameleon lidat lo.
Q: Eh, why chameleon? You like chameleon isit?
A: You siao ah? Of course no la. I like watermelon lagi best!
Before I continue with the next one, one thing I'm very sure so far is that I will fare better this time compared to the last. I've used all those words given. What do you think? Okay or not?
Can pass ar this time?
P/S: I hope you can help me on this as soon as possible as this ass is due on Friday (tomorrow) at 2359. Thanks a lot!


michelleg said...

looks like primary school english to me. no seriously =) u did use up all the words but..., not formal enough i think.

how to get to the hotel?
turn left walk straight pass the bus stop of the train station, pass railway tracks, turn right go straight n turn right again. haha!!

Calvin said...

michelleg: it's because i've just gave you another reason for calling me a small kid! :P

i wanted to take that route too, but i wasn't sure if can cross that railway track. it looks like a bridge to me.

lonehunter88 said...

lolz.. wat kind of english teacher do you have??????? Goodness, that's gotta be the funniest English paper I have ever seen! ^^;; You just can't learn English that way.. haha..

lonehunter88 said...

oh i figured it out...turn left and walk straight till u see the station..enter the station and use the back door.. u should see the hotel on the left.. ^^

ns29 said...

easiest say..
go to the police and say..
i lost my way..
pls bring me to the hotel..(since u r kid,the police should help you)

Calvin said...

lonehunter88: what else, ang moh english lor! this is what i've been learning for almost 4 months here.

i guess i should put it 'worsening' instead of 'learning' english :P

p/s: i'm afraid there's no back door for the station!

Calvin said...

ns29: haha! i had a great laugh when i read your comment! i didn't know that you can ketam better than me!

i shall submit my answer the way you've told me and lets see if mr mort will pass this kid :P

TZ said...

i hope you are not submitting this answer to your english teacher... I bet he will PENGSAN if you did... hehehe... :-p

Anyway, hope you will score your final this time.

Calvin said...

tz: it's okay if he PENGSAN. i don't care bout that. but i will SHINU (die) if i submit that to him :P

thanks by the way ^.^