Sunday, July 1, 2007

I Don't Play Basketball

Does this guy looks familiar?
I don't have to talk more about him. Yes, he's #23 Michael Jordan.

I know I will be posting an entry about this sooner or later. Eventually, I did it. Before I go any further, let me stress this out for once and for all first.

I DON'T PLAY BASKETBALL!

Sad but true. I'm saying like that coz I hope that I won't be getting such questions anymore in the comments part of this post. If I see anyone who still ask me like that again in the comments part, I have nothing else to say anymore. Don't say I never warned you beforehand.

Back to the main topic. If you asked me what is the most 'over-used' question being thrown towards me for my 20 years living on this planet, I will say that would be this:

"Wah! You how tall har?"

Then, there will be the follow-up question that will never fail to follow the first question.

"Got play basketball ar?"

The reason why these people asked me these questions? My height. Everytime I meet someone for the first time, that's their must-ask question. Be it when I enter a new school. Be it when I made some new friends. Be it when I meet my new teachers and lecturers. Be it when I meet my mum's friends. Be it anytime.

There's even a time recently when I was paying my things at a cashier when that woman asked me how tall I am. If you buy things at the cashier in Japan before, you'll know that they just can't keep their mouth shut, right? Very noisy one. That time, I was quite surprised coz that's the first time a person from the cashier asked something unrelated to what I'm buying.

the principal (fourth from left) with the newly entered foreign students

When we just arrived in this kosen and went to meet up with the principal, when he saw me, he asked that question as well. Not bad for a first question by the head of the kosen though. I'm getting this question so often that I sometimes feel that I should just record the answer and play it to anyone who ask me again.

Even during my first day arriving in Japan, I already suffered from the design of their building. I don't know whether the Japanese are trying to save cost or what. But it's understandable coz after all, they'll need to built a new one after an earthquake. So, there isn't a need to built too tall ceiling. That's what they think, I guess.

I thought that would end at the hotel we stayed on our first night in Tokyo. But mana tau, when I arrived in my kosen, the ceiling of the hostel is just the same! -.- You'll feel really beh tahan one, you know! I've already complained about that low ceiling thing even during my first 2 days in Japan. If you still wonder how low their ceiling is, take a look at this.

I've measured it and that's about 6cm!

Although that's not the ceiling, but that's how low their door is. If you're thinking I'm standing on a small bangku when I took the pic, here's to prove that I'm not.

see, I told you already that I didn't use any bangku

Actually it's not just their ceiling. I'll also have headache everytime I use their toilet. As I has pointed out in one of my previous entry, their cubicle is damn low. Now I understand why people usually assume that Japanese are short short people. But something interesting is that their brains is not low.

I also still remember an accident I had, all because of my height. See, being tall can also get you into accident one. Not just dangerous driving nia. It happened many years back. I was walking with my mum in the town and all of a sudden, baangg!! The next thing I knew, my head went and kissed the backside of a van's boot. Farking pain, I tell you.

this isn't the van I hit, but that's the part my head kissed - upper part of the van

If not because of dunno which donkey went and opened up the van's back, I won't be getting kissed already. Anyway, I'm also to be blamed la. Walk but didn't see road, said my mum. But I can assured you that my eyes wasn't at any thai thai at that time. After that accident, I became phobia everytime I see a van with it's back being left opened.

Nevertheless, being tall has also won me some nicknames. I've posted an entry about the nicknames I got in one of my previous post. That list has the complete list of all the (most of the time weird) nicknames so far.

When I went for a gathering with my senpai in Tokyo early last month, I met a tall senpai. Randy was tall, almost as tall as me, but not quite. The way the question he asked me was something different from what I've been getting all these while. Usually people will ask me what I eat to be so tall. Before I answer them, they'll self-answer their own question.

"Kacang panjang?" "Long beans?"

What are you guys have in your mind? So are you directly indicating that short people eat kacang pendek or maybe short beans? Some who went asking the type of rice I eat. They were wondering if there's a variety of so-called long rice! If this is the case, I would really love to take only Japanese rice from now on. As you know, their rice is short and fat. No, not the fat part of course. I just want to inherit the short part.

Back to Randy's question, although the question is the same, the reason he asked me was different.

"Ei, I wanna know hor, what you eat until so tall ar? I need to know coz I dun wan to eat what you eat. I dun wan to grow any taller"

Usually people ask me because they wanted to know what food to make them grow taller. This Randy is the opposite. Anyway, if you still wonder what I ate all these while, try potatoes. I just love potatoes. Maybe after eating them, you'll grow an inch or two. If that happens, don't forget that you saw it here first. *Ehemm* Michelle, you might be buying one lorry of potatoes after this. Am I right?

There was a friend of mine who said that it's hard for me to find a girlfriend when I told her about my height. Yes, true. I've knew it long time ago. But the analogy she gave really made me feel want to cekik her. She said that if I have a girlfriend with a normal height, which means around 160cm, it will look as if I'm taking a monkey for a stroll in the park when I'm walking along with my girlfriend! My girlfriend is not as short as a monkey, okay?

Then how would it be if we are going to kiss? One of the idea I got was quite common, letting my girlfriend stand on the chair when we are kissing. But the next idea was really crap. I was told to ask my girlfriend to jump up and down when we are kissing! How can that be? How if she misses her target? Even more kesihan if she ended up jumping and jumping but didn't hit the target. The only thing she got is only tiredness. So, I unwillingly rejected that idea.

Sad but no choice. Safety first, ma. Actually I wanted to go and talk even further than just kissing. Yes, I know you know what I mean, don't you? But I guess I'll let you guys do the imagination part, and tell me later on in your comments.

There was also a time when my girl friend (different girl) asked me something 'interesting'.

"Eh, I wonder hor, since you're so tall la, does that mean the other parts of your body is also the same? Is it like the graf berkadar langsung?"

I looked and answered her, "You think leh? Maybe your Finger's Theory will explain everything!"

12 comments:

michelleg said...

haha.. potatoes are full of carb. so i wont be getting that! instead of growing longitudinally, i'll be growing transversely. :P

so berkadar langsung? sometimes it doesnt apply to everyone rite? haha.. but the kissing part very funny lor. i think u need to stand on ur knees. easier.. lol!!!

Calvin said...

yea, sometimes it's berkadar sonsang! -.-

but if i stand on my knees, i'm afraid i might ended up kissing the wrong part. lagi bahaya like that! :P

michelleg said...

omg.. pervert. haha. jkjk

Calvin said...

michelleg: aiyoyo, does kissing the navel of my girl makes me a pervert? what was you thinking?

now, who lagi pervert? :P

Innocent^^Guy said...

woah, u think too much la...btw, you should play basketball..really wasted with your height you can be a pro ler! Plus, even yao ming married liao. He met his gf who is also playing basketball wan. See? You join basketball and get your gf there la. She surely also tall wan ma. Then ma no problem d lor for your most stressed part, kissing! :p

Calvin said...

calvinsenpai: err, kissing is one of the dificult part, but it's not the most stressed part :)

tang yii said...

pity u!
I dun mind u give me a few inches of ur height.

Calvin said...

tang yii: i was actually waiting for someone to make this request. and you was the first one here.

seriously, if you can find the technology for doing it, i don't mind at all. how many cm you want? but the most i can give is only 8cm la :P

tang yii said...

8cm is enuf to make me very happy d!
haha!

Calvin said...

tang yii: you want all 8cm ar? how about the others? if i give you 8cm, i won't be having any cm left to spare for others ler :P

michelleg said...

yealor! i wan 5 cm.. i'll be happiest person on earth!

Calvin said...

michelleg: see, told ya. i won't be able to please everyone if i'm giving my 8cm away. but since only 2 person requested for it, i'll give 4cm for each, okay? fair and square :)